What I wish I had known about having a newborn

So, normally I blog book or movie reviews but having recently become a new mom, I’ve decided to venture into something new.

Motherhood is something I always dreamed about, bringing life into the world and having a piece of you in the world that will love you forever. I always knew it would be hard, but I don’t think anyone truly understands how hard it is until you’ve done it.
3752754small1When I was pregnant I asked all the mom’s I met for advice, what I got back was nothing short of useless. I got stupid advice like, “Get as much sleep as you can now” – yes, because you can bank sleep and sleeping while pregnant will affect you when you have to wake up every 3 hours. And pearls like, “stock up on nappies” and “freeze meals”. All of which are good but doesn’t actually prepare you for having a child.

The truth is, the first three months of motherhood are unmitigated hell… and I’m only 8 weeks in. I wish someone would have told me that I was going to be sad, lost, empty… that I was going to cry for no reason, that I would be so sleep deprived I would forget who I am.

There’s no instant happy, you are scared and lost with a little human that you are responsible for. You’re recovery from the birth, shot full of hormones, and hate your body, but you don’t have time to worry about how you’re feeling. The reality of having a newborn is not all sunshine and rainbows, it’s hard and it’s easy to slip into a deep depression. I wish that people would be more honest when it comes to becoming a parent. Prepare women for what’s to come and give them real advice.

It’s important to remember that parenting is a two person job, you didn’t make the baby alone, so why should you raise him alone? I’m one of the lucky ones, I have an amazing husband who lets me cry just because I have to, and takes over so I can get just a couple extra hours sleep. And I have parents who come over and take him for 20 minutes so I can shower. Yet it’s still the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I’m not trying to deter anyone from taking this journey, in fact, I think having a child is the greatest adventure in life. But it’s not the eighteen hundreds, it’s important to talk about the reality of having a newborn, it’s important for women to know what’s to come. For those of you on this road, you will have moments where you can’t take it, where you think you just can’t do this… and you will have moments when you look at you little one and feel such love you smile. It really is a journey and no one has it all figured out. Just know that you’re not alone in the world and get out the house! Cabin fever will only add to your fragile mental state.

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